Showing posts with label coping with stress. Show all posts
Showing posts with label coping with stress. Show all posts

Thursday, September 6, 2012

A Stress-Free Life?

Thursday, Sep. 6, 2012

Not A Bad Way To Live
One Minute Daily Devotions
www.rightfromtheheart.org

“...And your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace.” - Ephesians 6:15

People today live such high pressure-filled lives and it’s taking its toll. Dr. Joel Elkes says, “Our mode of life - the way we live - is emerging as today’s main cause of illness.” The American Academy of Family Physicians says that two-thirds of all visits to doctors are stress related, and that stress is now known as the major contributor to heart disease, cancer, accidental injuries, and suicide.”

People attend stress seminars and devour books on stress. Sometimes they find that just focusing on it makes them more uptight. But, let’s face it - stress and pressure are a part of life.

Even Jesus Christ promised us that we’ll all face it. He said, “In this world you’ll face much tribulation.” Tribulation also means pressure. He goes on to say, “...but take heart. I have overcome the world.” Jesus does not promise us freedom from pressure, but He does promise us peace amidst the stress. Inner peace is a by-product of knowing Christ as Savior and Lord. The good news is, it’s available to all who trust in Him.

Yes, pressure is a part of life, but Christ gives us peace amidst the pressure. And I can tell you from experience, that's not a bad way to live!

My Thoughts

Last Sunday, our discipleship group focused on Matthew 6:30-34. In summary, these bible verses tell us that it is a sin to worry.  Our faith should have taught us that God takes care of the people who "seek first His kingdom and His righteousness".  Our focus should be on God and we, therefore, should not get worked up about the things of this world.

Easier said than done.  But it can be done.

When we were asked what worries us, I searched and searched my heart for the answer.  Like everyone else, I have concerns, I have problems.  But miracle of miracles, why is it that I am not worried? Why is it that, my life these days seem to be free of stress?  Why do I feel so peaceful and so calm amidst all the worldly concerns?

God has taken me to places where I've never been - places where only He can do something about.  He has been true to His promise that He will take care of me and I have learned (and still learning) to let go of the wheel and let God take over.  Finally, I have let God drive and allowed myself to be His passenger. His plans, His ways are indeed far, far better than mine.

I used to live a life full of stress - always worried about something.  Worry made my life stressful.  And stress made me miserable.  God helped me realize there is a better way to live - with Him.  In His presence, I am finding peace.  Peace that is sometimes hard to explain.  But who wants to understand peace?  I am happy I have it.  And I intend to hold on to this peace.  With God as my Driver, I do not even have to worry about getting lost.  And this, most certainly is a new way to live.


Monday, May 30, 2011

WHY AM I OVERWHELMED?

Why Am I Overwhelmed?

from the article '12 Questions to Ask Yourself If You're Feeling Overwhelmed'
Original Content | April 28, 2011

You skipped breakfast, your boss moved your deadline to the end of the day and you forgot to wear deodorant (again!). What do you do when it all feels like too much? Start by taking a deep breath and asking yourself a few of these questions.

Why Am I Overwhelmed?

"Overwhelm" is increasingly common as demands on human attention increase exponentially. The human brain just wasn't designed to handle the environment we inhabit. For the vast majority of world history, human life—both culture and biology—was shaped by scarcity. Food, clothing, shelter, tools and pretty much everything else had to be farmed or fabricated, at a very high cost in time and energy. Knowledge was power, and it was hard to come by; for centuries, books had to be copied by hand and were rare and precious. Even people were scarce: Friends and relatives died young (as late as 1900, life expectancy in the United States was approximately 49 years). This kind of scarcity still rules the world's poorest regions. But in the developed world, hundreds of millions of us now face the bizarre problem of surfeit. Yet our brains, instincts and socialized behavior are still geared to an environment of lack. The result? Overwhelm—on an unprecedented scale. –Martha Beck

MY THOUGHTS

Working from home is has been proven to make you fell less overwhelmed. For one, you can save, at least, an hour getting dressed and another couple of hours travel time. Check out Jomar Hilario's workshops. They are very cheap. You can do it full-time or part-time. Even if you don't decide to work from home, you will learn so many things you can use at work. Having new skills will also help you feel less overwhelmed. Click the links below:

Manila Virutal Assistant Seminar - http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=4268349
Downloadable Seminar - http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=4268351 (I took this course)
Cebu VA Seminar - http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=4273835
Online Mentoring Club - http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=4272657
Social Marketing Mentoring Club - http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=4278581
Affiliate System - http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?af=1336839
Online Wealth Breakthrough Seminar - http://www.1shoppingcart.com/app/?Clk=4274270

Thursday, May 19, 2011

HOW TO RELAX....NOW!!!

How to Relax Now (Damn It!)
Lisa Kogan on why taking it easy is so hard.
By Lisa Kogan
O, The Oprah Magazine | From the October 2002 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine

I fill my bathtub with bubbles, just like Doris Day in Pillow Talk. I light a zillion cream-colored candles, just like Barbra Streisand in A Star Is Born. I play soothing music over high-quality headphones, just like Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman. But why stop there? I place thin discs of fresh cucumber over exhausted eyes just like Maggie Smith in Gosford Park. And in no time at all, I let my mind begin to wander, just like Jessica Lange right before they institutionalized her in Frances. The water is warm, the lights are low, the music is enchanting, and here is what I'm thinking: How did my medicine cabinet get chipped? What exactly is a loofah and why in God's name do I own two of them? Have I only been in here three minutes? What time is tomorrow's ideas meeting? How does a woman live more than 40 years without having one idea for tomorrow's ideas meeting? My life is ridiculous. I need a new bath mat. Is that my doorbell? Is that my phone? Why is there war? How do I get candle wax off the side of my tub? Have I only been in here three minutes and 26 seconds? Shouldn't my fingers be pruney by now? I hate my clothes. I hate my hair. I hate my towels. I hate my ability to eat more than one hamburger in a sitting. What if I never come up with another idea and I lose my job and I'm forced to live on the street without a place to recharge my electric toothbrush and my eyes go bad and I can't see that single white hair growing out of my chin and I start scaring little kids who refer to me as Old Bloody Gums Kogan and I die alone clutching my two unused loofahs and how the hell can I have only been in here for three minutes and 57 frigging seconds???

All my life, people have been urging me to relax. They put a hand on my knee to steady my shaking leg. They take me to the cockpit and introduce me to the pilot. They make me skip the nightly news and the daily paper. They offer glasses of merlot, cups of chamomile, sticks of gum, prescriptions for Ativan. They tell me about the wonders of yoga, the miracles of meditation, and a top-notch shrink in Murray Hill. It makes me very, very tense.

An intervention is staged—friends invite me to five days at a spa, and before I can protest that I'm much too busy, I find myself on the vacation I didn't think I could afford to take. Arizona is crazy beautiful. The air is perfumed with rosemary and purple sage, the mesas are dusted with pale cocoa earth, and at sunset the sky turns to mother-of-pearl. There's prickly-pear marmalade and men in white Stetsons, grand canyons and lonesome doves. My elusive search for serenity has brought me to Miraval, a spa that seems to want nothing more than to see me unwind. Rumor has it that another spa in the area searches your luggage for hidden Pringles and peanut butter cups. Miraval asks only that you be aware of what you're eating and make a point of savoring it. They believe in living mindfully, that people who are getting all the tender loving care they need will want to be good to themselves, and they provide the trainers, nutritionists, therapists, and aestheticians to help. The relaxation techniques that felt like a tedious waste of time in Manhattan feel like manna from heaven in Tucson. I am massaged with hot stones, pedicured with hibiscus, exfoliated with sea salt, anointed with oils, sunshined, sauna'd, steamed, stretched, peeled, lotioned, lathered, conditioned, polished, fed, and massaged some more. I nap, swim, read, chat, stroll, breathe deeply, sip mango iced tea, and nap some more. I avoid cell phones, e-mails, faxes, traffic jams, the frantic ticking of my biological clock, and any form of media in which I'm likely to encounter a warning from John Ashcroft. My neck slowly reappears as my shoulders slide down, my jaw unclenches, my lower back unknots, my fingers stop curling into fists, my chakras get unblocked, my chi gets released, my mood gets lifted. I become a wet fettuccine noodle in a white terry cloth robe. Nothing can faze me. The sky is falling? You don't say. The world is hurtling out of control? Praise the Lord and pass the sunblock. I develop an involuntary smile that borders on the idiotic. I don't want to leave.

There's a pretty decent chance that I won't be coming home to a large, cheerful staff waiting to unblock my chakras and release my pent-up chi. Nor will there be a chef preparing insanely delicious low-calorie desserts. So the question is this: How much bubble wrap must I be encased in to maintain this newfound tranquillity?

After one month back in the big city, I believe I have the answer: All the bubble wrap and mango tea in the world won't make the chi flow after I receive a few jolts of the same stress that caused me to flee in the first place. But if Miraval has taught me anything, it's that I have the power to help myself feel better, and if I can't completely eradicate stress, I can at least get to a place where missing a green light doesn't make me homicidal. I toss my Chinese take-out menus (hailed as one of the largest collections in North America) and invest in a copy of Conscious Cuisine: A Harmony of Flavors for a Life in Balance, by Cary Neff, Miraval's brilliant executive chef. I cook and freeze on Saturdays and come home to healthy meals all week long. I promise to treat myself to one massage a month and an occasional facial to boot. I return to the little things that used to make me happy, like swimming and walks in Central Park. I learn to unplug my phone for 20 minutes or so every night and curl up with a good book. I buy the new Tom Waits CD and play it in place of the latest in reality television. I meet old friends for Sunday brunch. I swear never to let a year go by without building in some sort of vacation. And every now and then—after a particularly harrowing day—I settle into a warm, relaxing (four-minute) bubble bath.

MY THOUGHTS

I get the point. Don't be too hard on myself. And on others for that matter. Loosen up. And when you get to a spa, just live for the moment.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

7 ways to be stress free

7 ways to be stress free
12/29/2010

Use these tips and tools to strategize, plan and balance your life — and your pest management business.

Running a small business 24-7 is an all consuming task. Add to that the current economic climate and you’ve got more stress than you can handle. This can impact your health and the success of your business. "Most small business owners do not have a good work-life balance," says Randy Moser, an AdviCoach based in High Point, N.C. (www.advicoach.com). "The number one way to reduce stress is to keep yourself, your relationships and work all in proper perspective and priority." These tips can help you live a more balanced life, handle stress better and make you healthier in 2011:

Better Business. Here are some ways to manage your business better:

Set up a calendar. "Time management is the number one issue I work on with entrepreneurs," says Moser. The first step to turn it around is to document where you spend your time for a full week. Next, based on your priorities set up a default calendar and commit to it. For example, if you need to set aside time for marketing each week, put it on the schedule. Need time with your significant other and you’re working seven days a week? Block out Friday night. Need to exercise to burn off stress and get healthier? Write it down too. By doing this you’ll give structure to chaos and reduce unnecessary stressors.

Know your limits. "The root of many stressors in our lives comes from unrealistic expectations," says Moser. "If you control your expectations, you reduce some of your stress." This doesn’t mean you don’t have dreams. It means taking a realistic look at projects you want to undertake and asking yourself if you have the resources and capability to get it done. If you do, create an action plan and get busy. If not move on.

Have a 90-day and a 10-year vision. "It forces you to live within your capacity and your resources," says Moser. Say your 10-year vision is to make $15 million producing X, Y or Z. Break it down to the next 90 days and decide what you are going to do to move closer to your goal. "If you break it down into bite-sized expectations for the next year or the next two years you can get there."

Better YOU. Here are some ways to manage yourself better:

Keep your cool. "Most businesses revolve around dealing with the public, and dealing with the public can often mean dealing with rude people," says Jay Winner, M.D., director of the Stress Management Program for a large medical clinic in Santa Barbara, Calif., and the author of Take the Stress Out of Your Life (Da Capo Lifelong April 2008). "You’ll keep your cool if you remember that when someone is rude, they are almost always suffering in one way or another." Are they under excessive financial stress (pretty likely guess these days)? Are they having health problems? Family problems? "Taking the focus off ‘How dare they treat me like this,’ and instead thinking, ‘I wonder what is going on with him,’ will decrease your stress and hostility," Winner says.

Develop and maintain a routine. "Starting and maintaining a new business can often create stress," says Serena Wadhwa, Psy.D., clinical therapist and director of the TriQual Living Center (www.triqualiving.com) in Chicago. "By creating and maintaining a routine, you develop a sense of control, calmness and consistency." This can be as simple as having coffee in a place unrelated to your business and reading a book or working out in the morning before breakfast.

Go with the flow. "Accept that not everything always goes as planned," says Dr. Winner. "When you make out an invoice incorrectly, instead of thinking, ‘What a failure I am,’ think, ‘What can I learn from this?’"

Take a stress break. Use your computer to take a relaxation break, Winner says. Utilize the free relaxation exercise at www.stresremedy.com/relax.

The author is a Greenport, N.Y., freelance writer. She can be reached at cfiedler@giemedia.com.

MY THOUGHTS

business or no business, stress will forever be present. it's true, developing a routine gives you some sense of control. that lessens stress somehow. until something happens and you need to break the routine. then you'll get stressed again. unless you learn to go with the flow. it's good to plan. it's good to organize. but being ready (and yes, accepting of) for any disruption will help you be more relaxed.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Are You Creating Additional Stress For Yourself?

Stress and Self Sabotage:Are You Creating Additional Mental Stress For Yourself?
Mental and Emotional Stress: Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com Guide

Updated November 08, 2007

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board

Though virtually everyone experiences stress, sometimes the way we react to stress amounts to self sabotage! We’ve all found ourselves being impatient with people or taking out frustrations on innocent bystanders, or causing unnecessary conflicts and mental stress because stress is clouding our judgment. And while some people find themselves creating this type of drama in their lives occasionally, others make this self sabotage a way of life, continually creating additional mental and emotional stress for themselves without being aware of their own role in this! The following are some of the most common ways that people create mental and emotional stress in their own lives. Carefully think about whether any of these self sabotage techniques apply to you, so you can make simple changes to reduce significant mental and emotional stress from your life.

Being “Type A”:
People who move through the world in a Type A pattern of behavior typically rush frantically and treat others with hostility, among other things. If you react to life in a Type A manner, you’re probably bringing unnecessary emotional stress to relationships with aggressiveness. You may be missing simple solutions to problems because you’re rushing so much that you don’t pay close enough attention to details, and thereby creating bigger problems. The Type A pattern also typically brings health problems somewhere down the road. To assess your level of Type A behavior patterns, take the Type A Personality Quiz, and you’ll find an assessment and useful resources to help you stop the self sabotage.

Negative Self Talk:
Sometimes, the enemy is inside your head in the form negative self talk. The way we talk to ourselves, while generally formed during childhood, can follow us through our lives and color each experience like a ray of sunshine or a dark cloud surrounding us and blocking our vision. Those whose self talk tends to be negative may attribute malevolent intent to others when none exists, interpret potentially positive events as negative and missing important benefits, or create a self-fulfilling prophecy by believing that their stress level is more than they can handle. If you suspect that you habitually use negative self talk in your daily life, it’s not too late to learn positive self talk. By keeping a journal and using other tools to become more aware of your inner voice, using positive affirmations and surrounding yourself with positive energy, you can turn things around for the better, and experience much less mental and emotional stress in your daily life.

Poor Conflict Resolution Skills:
Do you tend to act aggressively with people when simple assertiveness will work better? Or do you passively let others walk all over you because you don’t know how to say no? Conflicts with others are generally a part of life, but how we handle them can actually strengthen relationships, or can cause loads of additional mental stress for all involved, and create bigger conflicts that take on a life of their own. Interestingly, many people who act aggressively aren’t fully aware that they’re doing harm in their relationships, and aren’t familiar with a better way of handling things. To get a better idea of how you react to conflict, take the Assertiveness Quiz, and you’ll get an assessment of your conflict-resolution style and resources at the end. You can also get ideas on how to handle conflict by reading my 10 Best Ways to Handle Conflict and 10 Worst Ways to Handle Conflict.

Pessimism:
If you’re a pessimist, you may see things as worse than they really are, may pass up opportunities to better your, overlook solutions to problems, and cause yourself mental stress in many other ways as well. Pessimism is more than just seeing the glass as half-empty; it’s a specific worldview that undermines your belief in yourself, brings poorer health outcomes, fewer positive life events, and other negative consequences. (Read this article for a more detailed explanation of the traits of pessimists and optimists, with research on the benefits of optimism.) Because the traits of optimists and pessimists are specific and slightly elusive to someone who doesn’t know what to look for, many people with pessimistic tendencies are completely unaware of it and view themselves as optimists. To know your tendencies, take The Optimism Self Test, and get an assessment of your explanatory style and find resources for how to become more of an optimist.

Taking On Too Much:
Are you overscheduled and overstressed? You may be taking on too much, and putting yourself under undue pressure because of it. Whether it’s because you’re a type A type person or because you’re not sure how to say no to others’ demands on your time, you can put yourself in a state of chronic stress if you habitually take on more than you can handle. To assess your level of balance, take the Lifestyle Balance Quiz to see if you may need a change.

MY THOUGHT

this article reminds me so much of the 7 habits. if you have not read the book yet. please do. or attend a workshop. i used to be my worst enemy and i stress myself out. and other people. but the 7 habits is not enough. the bible is the best. as soon as i start feeling that the world is about to crash and close in on me,i grab the bible or stop for few minutes to pray. trust me, the tension magically (or mysteriously? or better yet miraculously) goes away.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

relax with humor

Maintain A Sense of Humor
By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com Guide
Updated August 16, 2010

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board

Developing a sense of humor about life’s challenges is an effective coping technique that can actually lead to better overall health as well as simple stress management. That’s because, aside from the health benefits of laughter (which are numerous and significant), having a sense of humor about life’s difficulties can provide a way to bond with others, look at things in a different way, normalize your experience, and keep things from appearing too overwhelming or scary. Properly developed, a good sense of humor can keep people and relationships strong. Here’s how to develop yours:

Difficulty: Easy
Time Required: Ongoing

Here's How:

1. Start With a Smile.
Studies show that having a smile on your face can release endorphins, which make you feel better, and can lead you to actually feeling more happy (rather than just looking more happy). If you are able to put a smile on your face, the laughter will come more easily, and the stress will melt more readily.

2. Take A Step Back.
When you’re in the middle of a difficult situation, it can seem overwhelming. If you try to see your situation as an observer would, it’s often easier to recognize what’s funny. For example, Lucy Ricardo (of the television classic, I Love Lucy) may have found nothing funny in getting locked in a freezer, having a fight with a fellow grape-squasher in a vineyard, or getting drunk while filming a television commercial for Vitamedaveggemin, but watching these scenarios can be hilarious. Sometimes imagining how you would look in a sitcom can be the secret key to finding the humor in a situation.

3. Value The Extremes.
If your situation seems ridiculously frustrating, recognize the potential humor in just how ridiculously frustrating and annoying it is. In your imagination, take the situation to an extreme that becomes even more ridiculous until you find yourself amused. For example, when you’re waiting in a long line at the store, you can imagine that hours pass, then days, visualizing yourself accepting visits from loved ones from your new home in this ultra-long line, holding your children’s birthday parties in aisle seven so you can be there to enjoy them…you get the picture.

4. Have A Funny Buddy.
Find a friend with whom you can laugh, and let the relationship work for you! You can each share your frustrations, and laugh about them in the process. Even when your friend isn’t there, you can lighten your mood in a dark situation by thinking about the retelling that will come later.

5. Make It A Game.
You can have a ‘most annoying boss’ contest with your friends, or try to count how many times the same potentially frustrating event happens in a day. (I was cut off in traffic 7 times today—I’m almost up to 10!) This works well for predictably or repetitive annoying situations that you can’t control; you can begin to value them in their own special way instead of letting them upset you.

6. Watch Funny Shows and Movies.
One of the factors that drive the popularity of shows like The Office or Everybody Loves Raymond, or movies like the classic Ferris Bueller’s Day Off, is that they take somewhat universal situations that many people find frustrating and push them a little further, pointing out the silliness of it all. Realizing that some universally annoying situations are actually funny, can help you endure them with a smile—even if it’s a wry or ironic smile.

7. Read Funny Books.
Read humorous essays like those of Dave Barry or David Sedaris, both of whom are able to take events, ranging from annoying to upsetting to even tragic, and find the humor—each in his own unique way. Also recommended are the humorous tidbits in Reader’s Digest, as well as classic humor books like Jerry Seinfeld’s SeinLanguage. Reading others’ humorous interpretations of life can help you find your own style of seeing the world in a different light.

8. Visit Funny Websites.
I love About.com’s Political Humor site, as it very effectively takes the normally frustrating and annoying (for me) world of politics and brings it to a very funny place. (The site can also serve as a reminder of how to see the humor in other situations in life.) I also recommend About.com’s general site, and David Letterman’s archives of Top 10 Lists for a good laugh.

9. Join Funny Clubs.
Oprah did a segment on Laughter Yoga that intrigued me, and I researched a club on my own, finding it to be a terrific place to enjoy a good laugh. Whether you’re taking the laughing seriously or laughing at the silliness of it all, taking part in the exercises of laughter yoga with other humor-participants can be a very effective way to get back in the practice of getting some more giggles into your day.

10. Email This Page To A Friend

MY THOUGHTS

there are days we cannot even start with a smile, right? and these are the days we need humor the most. taking a step back helps. but being with happy, funny (but sensible) people is still the best. it's hard not to have humor when you're surrounded by it. and yes, you forget about your woes once you start laughing.

Saturday, August 29, 2009

"bad" stress relievers

Unhealthy Responses to Stress and How These Bad Habits Affect You
Here Are 5 Of The Most Common Bad Habits:
By Elizabeth Scott, M.S., About.com
Updated: December 31, 2008

About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board


If you tend to deal with stress in less-than-healthy ways, you are compounding the negative impacts of stress on your health by exacerbating the stress levels and creating new problems in your life and health. The following are some common unhealthy ways of coping with stress, along with some of the negative effects of each, and ideas on how to curb or change the bad habit itself or lessen its impact.

Bad Habit #1 - Consuming Too Much Caffeine:
Multitudes of people enjoy a daily caffeine intake, as evidenced by the extreme popularity of Starbucks and other coffee houses. And while the occasional coffee isn’t going to do you great harm, it’s important to remember that caffeine is, in fact, a drug, and it’s possible to have a full-blown caffeine addiction. More likely and common, however, is caffeine dependence, where people use caffeine to jump-start their energy in the morning, use it throughout the day to stave off a ‘caffeine crash’, and then find their sleep disturbed by caffeine, causing them to wake up tired and need the caffeine jolt to get going again the next day. As the cycle continues, caffeine affects stress levels as well. If this sounds a little too familiar, here are some resources to help kick the caffeine habit.

Bad Habit #2 -Smoking:
For smokers, a cigarette can feel like a good stress reliever. In fact, during times of stress, a cigarette feels almost necessary, and quitting the habit can seem virtually impossible. (Due in part to physical addiction and in part to habit and other social and lifestyle factors, it’s been said that quitting smoking is as difficult as quitting heroin!) Unfortunately, we all know that cigarettes can be costly—financially speaking and especially health-wise—and because smoking creates much more stress than it alleviates, it’s more than worth it to kick the habit. For help, visit the Smoking Section of the Unhealthy Behaviors resource category on this site.

Bad Habit #3 -Drinking In Excess:
Many people find that a glass of wine can be a good way to unwind at the end of a stressful day, and most physicians and researchers agree, citing studies that show that red wine has benefits for heart health. However, drinking can be a slippery slope, as excessive drinking can cause problems in virtually every area of a person’s life, causing much more stress in the long run. If you are one who has trouble limiting alcohol consumption to one or two drinks, and even if you can drink very moderately, but find that this is your only regular stress management practice, it would likely be in your best interest to pursue other forms of stress relief. For more on alcohol consumption, see the Alcohol Section of the Unhealthy Behaviors resource category. For additional ideas on stress relief practices, here’s a long and varied list of stress relievers.

Bad Habit #4 -Compulsive Spending:
People have many ways of relieving stress or of filling a void inside themselves. While buying yourself a nice gift once in a while can be a nice pick-me-up, and an effective self care strategy, compulsively buying things to relieve stress or feel good about yourself, spending money you don’t have on things you don’t need, can only cause more financial stress in the long run, and cause feelings of shame, a cluttered home, and add to the stress you were trying to alleviate.

Bad Habit #5 -Emotional Eating:
Most of us let our friends Ben & Jerry help us reduce stress with ice cream on occasion (or at least most of the people who took this poll on emotional eating said they did), but if eating the wrong things becomes a main coping mechanism for stress, it can lead to compromised health, excessive weight, and additional stress stemming from these effects. A poor diet can cause additional stress also by leading to blood sugar imbalances that make stressful situations seem more overwhelming. If you find that stress leads to poor dietary habits because of emotional eating, or for other reasons (like you’re just too busy to cook healthy dinners at home), you can learn to adapt healthier eating habits with these resources.

Additional unhealthy responses and bad habits include self sabotage and lashing out at others, working to the point that you live an imbalanced lifestyle, and other things. For more help with bad habits and mild to moderately unhealthy responses to stress, visit the Unealthy Behaviors section, read the Stress Relief Game Plan, and take the free e-course on Living a Low Stress Lifestyle. I also highly recommend this article on maintaining healthy habits!


MY THOUGHTS

Stress relief strategies can indeed lead to more stress - if you're using the wrong
techniques. Caffeine causes insomnia and lack of sleep adds up to stress since your human systems failed to regenerate. Smoking (ouch) clouds your thoughts, causes headache and leads to more health problems. When you drink, you tend to forget the stressors for awhile but that's about it. You wake up with a humongous hangover and you get more stressed trying to remember what crazy things you did while intoxicated. Well, uncontrolled eating, we all know where that would lead us. And a sure fire way to get more stressed. Eating is definetely a no-no when you're trying to relieve stress. Now,shopping! This doesn't seem harmful does it? especially if you have tons of money. But when we buy what we don't need and buy what we can't afford then we're in big trouble. First, because the extra, unnecesary, unplanned
expense will catch up with us. But more importantly, unwise spending is not a good
stewardship. In truth, all of these "bad" stress relievers are "bad" examples of
stewardship. Everything we have are God's gifts and we were commanded to take care of everything we own. The best stress reliever of all is to pray - constantly, unceasingly. Who else can give us comfort from stress but the One who loves us the most.

Stress relief Through Self-Soothing Techniques

Coping With Stress Using Self-Soothing Skills
By Matthew Tull, PhD, About.com
Updated: October 28, 2008
About.com Health's Disease and Condition content is reviewed by the Medical Review Board



When you are upset, it is important to have ways of coping with stress. For example, seeking out social support can be an excellent way of improving your mood. However, symptoms of PTSD, such as unpleasant memories or thoughts about a past traumatic event, can sometimes occur unexpectedly, and social support may not be readily available.

Therefore, it is important to learn coping strategies that you can do on your own. Coping strategies focused on improving your mood that you can do on your own are sometimes described as self-soothing or self-care coping strategies.

Effective self-soothing coping strategies may be those that involve one or more of the five senses (touch, taste, smell, sight, and sound). Listed below are examples of self-soothing strategies for each sense.
Touch

* Soaking in a warm bath
* Getting a massage
* Relaxing in the warmth of the sun
* Stretching
* Going for a swim
* Changing into comfortable clothes
* Playing with an animal

Taste

* Eating a comforting meal
* Sipping herbal tea
* Eating healthy food
* Slowly sucking on hard candy

Smell

* Shopping for flowers
* Smelling lavender or vanilla
* Lighting a scented candle
* Deeply breathing in fresh air

Sight

* Seeing a funny movie or watching a funny television show
* Reading a good book
* Looking at pictures of loved ones
* Looking at pictures of a past vacation or places that you would like to visit
* Watching the clouds

Sound

* Listening to relaxing music
* Singing to yourself
* Saying positive statements to yourself or self-encouragement
* Playing a musical instrument

When engaging in these strategies, make sure to focus completely on the task at hand. That is, be mindful of your senses and what you are experiencing, and anytime you are distracted, simply bring your attention back to what you are doing.

Come up with your own self-soothing strategies that you can do when you are upset. Try to come up with as many as you can. The more you can come up, the better off you will be in improving your mood when you are experiencing distress.

Source:
Linehan, M.M. (1993). Skills training manual for treating borderline personality disorder. New York: Guilford Press.


MY THOUGHTS

A strong support system can certainly bring stress relief. However, I agree that there are stress relief techniques or stress coping mechanisms that we can do on our own. What's so hard about "stretching" or "changing into comfortable clothes"? I guess the physical stretching will likewise stretch our minds out of the lethargic state we are in as a manifestation of our stress. Changing into comfortable clothes can also relax us physically so we can try and relax mentally, then spiritually. Maybe this is why we feel better when we're in pajamas. Comfortable. Relaxing. No demands. NO pretentions. Just being ourselves. Well, that can be calming. These strategies are helpful enough but if you really wish to find stress relief, the answer is in you. Use these tips but go ahead and try your own self relief techniques. Maybe you can share your self relief tips with us.



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Coping with stress in a marriage

The impact of stress and burnout on a marriage can be devastating. Here are some tips on handling stress.

When any of these symptoms start to creep into your marriage, make time together to step back and re-evaluate your life style and commitment to one another.

Do this in a positive way so that you are not creating more stress for one another. Point out to each other the areas of your marriage relationship that are running smoothly.
Physical Symptoms:

# Difficulty sleeping
# Poor appetite or overeating
# Frequent colds, flu, other illnesses

Emotional Symptoms:

# More arguments
# Sexual and intimacy problems
# More anger, irritation
# Low toleration level
# Anxious
# Depressed
# Tense

How to Cope with Stress:

# Eat healthy foods
# Get enough sleep
# Drink water throughout the day
# Make time for exercise
# Have some fun and laugh more
# As a couple, try to spend some time alone together
# Be supportive of one another

Source: About.com

MY THOUGHTS

I guess this goes the same for any relationship( except for the sexual and intimacy problems, of course. Stress relief comes when you cope with whatever causes the strain. And these are universal tips on stress relief that we sometimes fail to acknowledge because we're too stressed out from the stress. Huh? Well, how can you think of solutions when you're too engrossed with the problem?